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How to Overcome Fear and Self-Doubt as a Breadwinner


Let’s face it, being the breadwinner is a tough job. If you are a breadwinner, your family can’t financially survive without your income. The stress of being a breadwinner can be overwhelming.

Both my husband and I have experienced being breadwinners of our family. Before being on the road to financial independence, we were both breadwinners at the same time! Our family could not financially survive without neither one of our incomes. That was a scary time because we both made pretty good money.

When you are a breadwinner, the self-doubt and fear you start your build in your mind can be stressful. You are scared to make a mistake at work. You are worried about losing your job. What happens to your family if you lost your job?!?!

Fear and self-doubt can consume us if we let it. It is good to find ways to help us navigate through these feelings. Keeping these feelings in check can be hard but it’s doable.

Who is a Breadwinner?

A breadwinner is a person who MUST earn money to support their family. Can a family have two breadwinners? Yes! If your family is dependent on you and your spouse’s income to financially survive, then you are both breadwinners.

A sole breadwinner is when there is only one person who MUST earn money to support their family. Whether you are a breadwinner or a sole breadwinner, fear and self-doubt can creep into your mind at any time. Especially times with the economy is shaky.

But how do you deal with the fear and self-doubt about being the breadwinner for your family? Who can you talk to? What can you do to make it better? How can you eliminate those fears?

Talk to Those Who Love You

Talk to your support system about how you are feeling. Whether your support system is your spouse, parents, or friends, having people cheering for you is a huge confidence booster. They will show you all your great qualities and that you may not see yourself.

If you don’t have a support system, then your first step is to find one! Being able to talk to someone that “gets” me is a great feeling. My bestie and I have a weekly happy hour where we talk about anything and everything including fears and self-doubt. This weekly call or meet up has done wonders for my self-esteem and I recommend it for everyone!

Opening-up to people can be tough since you are sharing a vulnerable side of yourself. That is why I recommend you find someone you are comfortable with and won’t judge you about your fears. They will understand and I’m sure they will do whatever they can to help you feel better.

Use Your Fear to its Advantage

Use your financial fears to fuel your goals. Fear can be a steppingstone if used properly. Many of my best solutions came out of being scared. This is the first step to break the control fear has on you.

Fear means it is time to get clear on your financial goals. Why are you scared about money? What goals is this fear stopping you from achieving? If you could get over this fear and self-doubt, how would your life change?

Once you are clear on your goals, and why you are achieving them, your fears will slowly fade away. It’s time to focus on the positive. Focus on financial rewards and not the setbacks.

Is it Fear or is it Intuition?

I ask this question because our gut knows things that our brain refuses to believe. If your fear about money is because unexpected things are happening at work or your business, it is time to listen to intuition and create a plan B. 

Creating a backup plan can relieve those fears and boost your confidence. You will not be dependent on your job. Whether your backup plan includes updating your resume or starting a side hustle, it is always good to make a list of options.

If you need help creating the perfect back up plan for you, I would love to help! Check out my Jumpstart Your Financial Independence program here.

It’s time to do some work…

So, grab a glass of wine (or drink of choice), a piece of blank paper, and start facing these financial fears and self-doubt. Write down some ideas of how you are going to stop these feelings. Who are you going to reach out to when you need a confidence boost? How are you going to use your financial fears to catapult you to success? Is it time to create a backup plan for your finances?

Let me know your answers at nicole@budgetlikealady.com



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