Normalcy doesn’t return the minute the masks come off.
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As we start to relax now that the vaccines have been rolled out, we might still be feeling residual anxiety from 2020 – and that might also be a huge understatement.
It is entirely normal, even with the world reopening, to be left with a feeling of unease, of something being not quite right. You might wonder, “where is this coming from if I’m vaccinated and I’m seeing friends and family again and I’m able to fly and eat at restaurants?”
Given the range of events we all suffered through in 2020 it would be weird if we didn’t feel some sort of post-traumatic response. In fact, The American Psychoanalytic Association’s COVID-19 Advisory Team has given “pandemic effect” its own name: the Pandemic Trauma and Stress Experience (PTSE).
It’s imperative to realize that normalcy doesn’t return the minute the masks come off. Our bodies and minds need more time to accept the new reality. Our nervous system needs time to accept this next phase.
And with that said, everyone’s nervous system will be different. This past year has been extremely traumatic and unprecedented; we thus don’t have anything to point to for coping strategies.
We’ve collectively experienced trauma. Even if you didn’t personally know anyone who died from COVID, the threat was always there. Even if you don’t feel like you felt the threat, your nervous system most likely did.
We have been in fight or flight mode for over a year, which is our body’s protective mode. When it senses the danger is over it begins to calm down, which might appear as if everything is returning to normal – or should – but that is when the post-pandemic symptoms emerge.
It’s so important to recognize this potential post-pandemic response so that you can put a name to what you might be feeling. If you’re feeling like you should feel fine by now, because you’re vaccinated and can see people again, but you don’t feel completely fine, that’s totally normal. That’s the effect of trauma. Trauma doesn’t have a specific timeline, a specific start and end point.
When you look at the course of trauma, emerging from the fight/flight mode is when real symptoms start showing up. The world is struggling and some might be feeling shame for lingering stress or sadness or any form of post-traumatic response, but this is exactly when the feelings would happen.
It’s completely normal that now would be the time for post-pandemic responses to surface. Underlying feelings like grief, uncertainty, dissatisfaction with life (as priorities have shifted) might now be showing up; this is the normal course of trauma.
So the first step to post-pandemic emotional recovery is to have self-awareness that it is totally normal and expected to be experiencing the effects of trauma at this stage. There is no shame to be had, and there is no specific emotional recovery time-frame to adhere to.
There are some coping methods at your immediate disposal, as well, that can help with any PTSE you might be experiencing.
For Starters, Self-Compassion Is Key Right Now
Whatever post-pandemic response you’re feeling right now, give yourself a big ol’ break. Even if your PTSE symptom is brain fog and mental exhaustion, let yourself off the hook. Give yourself an internal hug. If you’re a parent that went through home daycare or homeschooling, give yourself two hugs.
Let go of any self-recriminating thoughts. They’re never of any benefit anyway, but definitely not now. Now is the time to be kind to yourself, to forgive yourself, to recognize you went through a hell of a year and you did your best.
Some people’s best might have been Netflix and ice cream. So be it. The last thing any of us need right now is shame that we didn’t write the novel so many memes on social media insisted we should be writing, given the time on our hands.
Ask For Help And Accept Help If Offered
If you’re feeling like you need a helping hand, whether therapeutic or social or both, ask for it. Be vocal. Sometimes we don’t know how much we need to see people until we do. So go ahead and find someone to talk to if need be. Talk to a friend, family member, therapist, Facebook, post on Instagram – find your outlet and don’t look back. You’re taking care of yourself and this is what it looks like.
Take A Look Back At The Year To See If You Can Pinpoint Stressors
To help with PTSE healing, see if you can identify times in 2020 that caused you the most stress. Maybe it was political, maybe it was racial injustice, maybe it was loss, maybe it was familial, or claustrophobia or needing social connection. See if you can pinpoint any time when you were particularly stressed, frazzled, upset, depressed, etc. If you can identify those triggers you can start the healing for those places inside of yourself where they took root.
Start The Healing Process By Cultivating Positive Experiences & Relationships
One upside to 2020 is it kind of wiped the slate clean as far as how we were living our lives. If you were previously stuck in a rut with regard to how you spent your free time and with whom, this is a great time to revamp your life.
Do things that you love. Schedule them. Seek them out. Put them on the calendar. Find people that you connect with that love to do those things too. Build up positive energy momentum with positive experiences, and with people that invigorate you. It will do wonders for your mood and mental health.
Focus On Things You Can Control
The past year gave us plenty of experience with events that were way out of our hands. One of the hallmarks of resilience is to focus on that which you have control over. Now is the time to hone that skill.
You can control how you spend your time, and with whom. You can control what you eat. You can control when you go to bed. You can make decisions that perpetuate unhealthy patterns or propel you forward in a positive direction.
If life throws you a curveball or scenario that you don’t love, see what you can control about it to make it more favorable. If someone – personal or professional – wants to meet on a day that doesn’t work for you and you feel compelled to give in, ask for a day that works for you. Advocate for yourself. Laugh! Try your best to see a way around perceived obstacles so they don’t bog you down and impede your happiness.
Own Your Priority Shift
Your priorities may have shifted during the lockdown. Many are excited by the prospect of seeing friends and family again, of being able to eat at restaurants again, and generally resume life as we knew it, sans mask. But if that’s not comfortable or what you want, don’t put internal pressure on yourself to be who you’re not anymore; and try not to let yourself be influenced by external pressure either.
If friends and family are eager to get together again, but you’re not feeling it, own it. Own the priority shift. We’re all different people to some extent than we were pre-pandemic, and we may now want different things for ourselves. No one else has to understand this except you. Listen to your inner voice telling you what you want and need, and respect it. Tell the unhelpful inner voice chatter with the shoulds, woulds and coulds to go you know what.
All of 2020’s threats – fear of death, fear of infecting others, fear of violence, fear of lost finances, fear of the world’s economy, fear of social isolation, and the list goes on – lodged themselves in our individual and collective consciousness. While our brains are starting to realize it’s safe to go out again, we might still be exhaling, literally and figuratively, for a while longer.
Coming out of 2020 is a process. We probably won’t fully recognize the effect that the past year had on us until a year or so from now. For the time being we have to do what we can to keep ourselves rooted in happiness, to the best of our ability.
