Influencing others takes work, but it is a critical skill professionals must master.
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Whether you are advising your client to do something, trying to win a case before a judge or trying to change public perception, you have to have the ability to persuade people. The ability to influence people is critical to getting business done and shaping the environment to make it easier to get what you want. Here are three tips to help you communicate persuasively:
1. Focus on the other person.
The words you hear coming out of your mouth may not be heard in the same way by someone else. It does not matter how you think the words sound. What matters is how the words or message lands with the listener. Ask yourself, “What is the other person going to hear or read?”
To be clear, focusing on the other person is not about telling them what you think they want to hear. Being persuasive is having the ability to communicate to the other person your point of view in a way that lands well with them.
Use the word “you” to bring the other person into the dialogue. Don’t be accusatory or commanding. Avoid saying, “You need to…,” You should…” or “You must…” No one likes to be told what to do. Great persuaders never order. Great persuaders allow others to make up their own mind, and it helps them to feel a sense of agency if you allow them to feel they are participating in the conversation.
Persuasion is the ability to change, shift or reinforce someone else’s thoughts. To do this, you have to start with the other person.
2. Visualize your argument in outline form.
If you want people to believe or adopt your perspective, look at and communicate your point like it is an argument. A great way to help you lay out your argument is by using an outline framework. Ask yourself, “What is the main point or thesis of my argument? What are my two, three or four supporting points? What data or facts do I have to support these points?” Explain your reasoning.
The more logical your approach, the easier it will be for the other person to understand what you are saying and, in turn, believe what you are saying.
3. Choose words intentionally.
After you have considered your overall approach and framework for your point, focus on the details. Focus on the words you use. Every word has a particular meaning. Use the word that has the meaning you want to convey.
Don’t force things. Just be disciplined to think about the difference in meaning and the nuances of words. Even if people do not fully understand the meaning of a word, words have connotations and associations. People will connect certain words with certain situations. Words have the power to produce certain feelings and images.
For example, words that are more typically used in sad situations may make the reader or listener sad. If you want to make the jury more empathetic towards your client, this may be a fine word choice. This is not, however, the reaction you want your audience to feel if you are trying to advertise a floral perfume.
Being persuasive takes work. Being persuasive involves strategy. Focus on the other person, communicate in outline form and be intentional with your language.
What tools do you use to help you be more persuasive? Share with me your stories and thoughts via Twitter or LinkedIn.
