Any woman who wants to be financially successful must master setting healthy boundaries around money.
No one knows that better than Terri Cole, author of the new book, Boundary Boss: The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen, and (Finally) Live Free. In her two decades of practice as a licensed psychotherapist, Terri has worked with international celebrities, athletes, thought leaders and CEOs. No matter where her clients fell on the spectrum, the same issues kept coming up around boundaries.
Terri’s work put her on a mission to help women create and maintain healthy boundaries with ease. That’s right, it doesn’t have to be hard—even when it comes to money.
Terri Cole
Wendy Yalom
Falling short of financial goals is a struggle Terri has witnessed countless go-getter, entrepreneurial women go through. They were working all the time, but they were going under. They missed their money marks not because they lacked talent, drive, or creativity, but because they lacked boundaries.
Having boundaries means not only knowing and stating your preferences and limits around finances, but also holding firm when they’re pushed up against.
Terri shares with you three essential steps you must take to create the unbreakable financial boundaries that female entrepreneurs need to succeed:
1. Know Your Worth
Believing that what you have to offer is uniquely valuable will help you get crystal clear on the value of the services that you provide. On a fundamental level, no one can do exactly what you do. Meditate on this value. Understand this from different angles.
If you need some inspiration, think of the feedback you receive from clients. Or ask them to share with you what they find most beneficial about your services, to give you a more robust sense of your worth. Scoping out your competition’s pricing will also help you gauge appropriate fees.
Once you have your clarity, you are less likely to undercharge. Own your worth and communicate that worth to your consumers with prices that reflect your value.
2. Master Negotiation
Negotiating for terms that don’t result in your overdelivering isn’t tacky. It’s smart. Skillful negotiation signals that you are the expert on what works best for you and what parameters will best serve the project at hand. Knowing and expressing your preferences, desires, and limits will help you avoid resentment down the line.
If you’re not ready to negotiate in the moment, you can buy some time by asking the client if you can get back to them in a day or two after reviewing their proposal. Once you’re ready to respond, here are some ways you can initiate negotiation:
- Ask about wiggle room: “This is an amazing project, and I’d be honored to collaborate with you. Before we begin, let’s talk about the fee. Do you have room in the budget to increase the rate?” You might be surprised at how often the answer to this question is, yes.
- State your established work preferences: “I have a policy to keep standard business hours, which are 9 AM to 6 PM EDT. If there is an absolute emergency, I will make myself available outside of those hours. Let’s talk through the scheduling so that we are on the same page and the workflow is achieved in your desired timeframe.” Clearly communicating proactive boundaries creates a foundation for a successful experience.
3. Never Lend Money
Loaning money, in both your personal and professional life, is risky business. There’s a good chance that you will never see your hard-earned cash again. You could also end up in debt yourself and the strain could end a perfectly good relationship.
When someone asks for financial assistance, tell them that you have a policy of not loaning money to family and friends—only giving it to them. If you can’t afford to give money away, get creative about how else you might add value to their struggle. You might let them know you’re not in a position to loan cash but you’ll happily be a sounding board if they need help figuring things out.
The bottom line is that when it comes to financial boundaries, over delivering and undercharging can be devastating. But the more you practice strengthening your boundaries, the easier growing your wealth will become.
