Disagreement is okay if you demonstrate good intentions.
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Conflict at work can be good, if it results in productive outcomes. The willingness to challenge should be celebrated if it demonstrates that people are thinking rigorously about the business and so long as people are kind in their approach. That is, you can still disagree with a teammate and still be supportive. Here are three ways you can still demonstrate support for your colleagues even when you may not agree with them:
1. Identify and communicate areas of common ground.
Business issues are complex. Most likely, you won’t disagree with your colleague on every aspect of the issue. You will agree on some aspects.
Communicate the elements of the issue with which you agree. Demonstrate that you are listening to them, understand them and that there is common ground.
2. Ask questions about the areas you don’t understand.
In the areas where you think you disagree, ask the person questions. If you think you disagree on the approach, probe the details of how they foresee the process. If you think you disagree on the purpose, ask a “why” question.
Demonstrate a sincere interest in wanting to learn and understand their point of view before sharing your opinion. If possible, give yourself time to take a break and get back to them so you can think rationally about the issue and avoid giving a negative, knee jerk reaction.
In this discovery phase, there is the possibility you will change your mind. You may start to think differently after learning more information. If your thoughts start to change, allow them to change. Don’t fight it. Being defensive only hurts you, your relationship with your coworker and the company. Demonstrate that your focus is on the company’s best interest and that you can be trusted with good intentions.
3. Articulate what you don’t agree with, and share your reasoning.
If you still disagree with your colleague after learning more information, let the other person know where your thoughts differ. Be supportive in your approach. This is critical, particularly if you have not had the benefit of time to develop a relationship built on trust.
In communicating your disagreement, be clear to focus on the issue (not the person) and why you disagree. You want to show that your opinion is reasoned and that you have not come to your judgment too quickly. You want to balance rigor with good intentions so that you establish trust.
Disagreement at work cannot and should not be avoided. Disagreement allows for innovation and for people to be their authentic selves. Be clear on where you are in agreement, use questions to seek understanding and communicate why you don’t agree with the person on certain areas. Communication is key to conveying to the other person where you are coming from and that you have good intentions.
How do you demonstrate support for a colleague when you don’t agree with their idea? Share with me your stories and thoughts via Twitter or LinkedIn.
