Esé Ighedosa Breaks The Stigma On Strong Black Women And Grief

For women, it’s uncomfortable admitting we need help, especially for Black women. Even though it has become more acceptable, there’s still a stigma around showing weakness in Black communities. The image of the strong or angry Black woman is still prevalent. According to the Anxiety & Depression Association of America , Black Americans are 20% more likely to experience serious mental health problems than the general population. Additionally, the organization states that anxiety is more chronic for Black women and the symptoms are more intense than their white counterparts. However, celebrities such as Taraji P. Henson, are sharing their stories to debunk the myth of the strong Black woman. But how are Black women in an executive role or position of power supposed to overcome those images when faced with personal tragedy? 

Esé Ighedosa, president of House of Athlete (HOA), is serving as a role model for other Black women of power, and her message is it’s ok not to be ok. 

HOA, a lifestyle and wellness brand dedicated to improving mental and physical fitness for today’s athletes, operates under four main business verticals: athletic training, an apparel line, a media company, which produces the I Am Athlete series, and supplements. Ighedosa stepped in as president a few months before her mother passed away.

“Personally,” she expresses, “with losing my mom, a lot of people think that I’m thriving, and most of the time, I’m just surviving. I’ve been surviving this past year. To rise to power while faced with immense grief has been one of the hardest things I’ve done. Sometimes I don’t feel like I have the capacity to even use this so-called power that I have because I’m still trying to make it to tomorrow. It’s literally just been this black and white experience where I’m killing it, and I’m at the pinnacle of my very short career, but on the other hand, I’m literally having the worst year personally. I’m super proud of the little bit that I’ve been able to do, but there’s so much more that I know I can do with my voice and with my platform.”

Ighedosa’s sports career began during her second year of law school, interning at NFL’s Minnesota Vikings in the legal department. After passing the bar exam, she worked as an intern at NFL Films handling the licensing for all NFL productions. She also worked on some player engagement projects and began establishing relationships with the players. Here she met Brandon Marshall, former NFL player and founder of HOA. That opportunity led her to NFL headquarters, where she worked for four seasons doing transactional law and supporting league office operations. 

“My most important accomplishment at the league office was starting the Black engagement network, which I founded, which was the first Black employee resource group that the NFL had ever had,” Ighedosa smiles. “It came right on time. A year after we started, that’s when Kaepernick took a knee. The NFL was turned on its head around racial and social justice issues. We were able to galvanize the Black employees and talk directly to the commissioner and leadership about their responsibility to not just the Black players, but their Black employees and the Black community.”

Having learned how NFL operates and the impact she could have, she decided to take her skill set to a team. In 2018, Ighedosa accepted a role at the North Carolina Panthers as associate counsel. After a few years, she decided that it was time to leave the league. She wanted to discover what she was capable of without the brand behind her. 

After reconnecting with Marshall and advising him on the start of HOA, she told him that offers from other organizations were coming in, and if he wanted, she would come on as president at HOA. Last May, she accepted his offer. 

“I feel so much, almost a responsibility, to just keep going,” Ighedosa comments. “Because I know that these opportunities don’t come often to people. So I want to make sure that I create a path for other women and Brown women that come after me.”

Just as Ighedosa transitioned to her new role, she had to learn how to navigate this position of power while grieving her mother’s loss. 

“I have struggled with how my purpose plays out now in this new role,” she humbly states. “I am so used to being the underdog, the junior employee that’s causing trouble and fighting the good fight. That became so much of my identity. I’m still learning how to be in a position of power. … We [Black women] have this unfair perception of strength, which often leads to our mistreatment because people just assume we can take it. People just assume that we’re fine. Because we have to be fine, right? That’s definitely what I’ve been navigating because I have this amazing opportunity.”

As Ighedosa continues to transition within her career, she focuses on the following essential steps:

• Find your audacity. A key ingredient is having the audacity to believe that you can do something different. 
• Focus on your vision. People can only give you advice based on their experience. You don’t have to accept anyone else’s vision.
• Build your tribe. They’ll be the ones to help you through the difficult times and will celebrate your success.

“I want them [women] to see me and to hear my story,” Ighedosa concludes. “It’s ok to cry. It’s ok to have a bad day. It’s ok to not necessarily feel what everybody else around you is feeling about your success. Everybody thinks that you make it, and then all your problems go away. Well, you’re one of the few that have made it. We have to give ourselves space to not be ok. Despite our compensation, our title and our success, it is ok not to be ok.”