Emotions are in the unconscious mind’s domain — and how you’re feeling is one of the ways your unconscious mind communicates with you.
This is great because we get such good information.
And emotions are powerful. Not only do they tell you how you’re doing, but they can also motivate, propel, and energize, adding fuel behind a particular direction or goal. This is why state management is so important and is such a key component of NLP.
By accepting that all emotions are valid — hey, they’re just your unconscious mind communicating with you — you can learn from them and then move on with more ease. You don’t have to stay in those negative emotions. In fact, you can learn to preemptively manage your state, decreasing your emotional fluctuations. You’ll be more emotionally steady, thus setting the tone for what will most serve you — being calm, steady, and clear-headed.
So, how does this work? Practice the following:
- When you notice a charged emotion, stop and become aware. Try to do this before an emotional state drives you to take any action.
- Employ “reject-delete” or another pattern interrupt
- Ask, “What do I want to feel instead?” and recall a time when you felt the way you want to feel.
- Having a hard time getting there? Play the ABC game (learn more about this in our Freebies section).
- Change your physiology by physically moving around.
- Calm your nervous system and allow that calmness to build.
- Change the quality of your internal representations so that they feel better. I know this is difficult, but keep practicing. It’s worth the effort!
A beautiful thing about these practices is that you can always know if they’re working simply by noticing how you’re feeling, and the things that show up for you.
Once you’re able to control your state, what then?
- Cultivate a sense of fun and curiosity around your dreams and goals.
- Embrace a sense of patience.
- Get into a state of trusting yourself. If you don’t know what that feels like, imagine what it would feel like.
- Cultivate a sense of trusting the people in your world.
- Explore what it would feel like to have compassion.
- Explore what it would feel like to be in a state of certainty.
- Explore what it would feel like to finish what you start and to feel fulfilled and satisfied.
When you practice intentional state management, you’re going to be in charge of your emotions. This is so powerful. Instead of your emotions controlling you, you’re going to be able to achieve the things that you want in a big, powerful way.
Let’s cultivate and then harness those feelings to help us get where we want to go.
