Gabrielle Bernstein – Fear: Killer Of Success

The New York Times describes Gabrielle Bernstein as a ‘role model for a new generation of spiritual seekers’. As an international speaker, best-selling author and mentor to millions of women around the world, she is not only successful but refreshingly relatable.

In Gabrielle’s talks and workshops she uses tools she has learned on her journey, including surrendering to a higher power, meditation, diet and fitness, to carve out an astonishing career and change the lives of countless women along the way.

 Courage Is Doing It Despite The Fear 

Gabby Bernstein grew up meditating beside her mother in ashrams across upstate New York. Her life took a dark turn in her late teens and early 20s when she rebelled and embraced alcohol and drugs. Finding sobriety in 2003 she then worked to “turn fear into faith, to stop chasing life and truly live”.

 Her books include the New York Times #1 bestseller The Universe Has Your Back and Super Attractor Methods, which lays out the essential methods for manifesting a life beyond your wildest dreams. The self-professed Spirit Junkie tells a poignant story of planning a pregnancy that didn’t happen and how tapping into a higher power through meditation helped her release her feelings of guilt and doubt and move forward with her life. 

She is among a growing number of women who have built incredible careers themselves and chosen to share the strategies that worked for them to inspire others.

Success looks different for men and women. Today, while increasing numbers of women are smashing through the glass ceilings, the majority are standing in the shadows, plagued by doubt, fearful of standing out, short of opportunities and frozen by feelings of unworthiness. A woman’s success is defined differently, she is expected to have it all: home, family, relationships and success in her working life. 

We asked four of the top female mentors to share their stories in the hope of raising up a generation of women to find their own version of success. What unites this collection of five dynamic women are the steps they created to overcome the fear and self-doubt that stands in the way for so many.

Put Systems in Place to Conquer Your Fears

“Fear is inevitable,” explains Allison Lewis, CEO and Founder of Absolutely Social, “it is the systems you have in place to conquer those fears that actually make you successful.”

Allison took what she learned as a social media influencer, Absolutely Alli, and created a digital lifestyle and consulting company to help other entrepreneurs monetize their social media and amplify their online presence.

Early in her career she had to overcome her own fears of having to be ‘perfect’ and the worries she had of what others would think of her. “If I had caved and submitted to those fears I would not now, nor ever be, on top of my game. Not succumbing to those fears has taken me on a journey I never thought possible when I started out,” she explains. 

Her advice to women who are consumed with doubt is to stop and ask, why? Assess the reasons you are taking the leap to start your own business and confront them head on, “fear makes you resilient, putting systems in place to overcome them is the path to success”.

Fear Can Fuel Your Success

Kendra Davies, CEO and Founder of Stellar Life Coaching takes a different approach: “Fear alone is not the reason we don’t make that badass move in our businesses or ask for a raise at work. It’s more likely because we have limiting beliefs about what we are capable of, or we don’t believe we are worthy and deserving.”

“Fear is a powerful and important emotion”, explains Kendra, “it’s a signal that you are approaching something important that requires your full attention and response.”

As a Positive Psychology Practitioner, life coach, international speaker and trainer to Fortune 100 companies, Kendra uses the powerful science of positive psychology to transform her client’s businesses and lives.. “Fear can fuel our success, once we learn to walk with it, and listen to and challenge the beliefs we associate with it. Feeling fear is normal, what you do with it matters, so choose courage” she continues.

She maintains that sometimes courage means asking for help. “Hire a business coach, or role play your pitch with your partner until you feel confident. Fear won’t  kill your success, but the actions you do or do not take as a result of your limiting beliefs will.” she says.

Apply The Golden Rule: DARING vs. SHARING

Pischy N. Izady is the German-Iranian Owner and Founder of DARE2LiVE COACH LLC, based in Los Angeles and a trilingual coach with unique expertise in both mind and body. 

She has traveled to 50 and lived in 7 different countries, compiling best practices from all around the world. With degrees in Psychology, Personal Training, Yoga & Nutrition, Izady helps CEOs, executives and business owners elevate their success to the next level by maximizing their mental and physical performance.

“Fear is the product of our overprotective mind. When we start our journey of self development and personal growth, it can become quite intense and overwhelming. Besides improving our success, overcoming fear impacts our overall life experience,” says Izady. “I fought my way out of the miserable, post revolution life in Iran, traveled the world, became a global executive and finally an entrepreneur in my dream destination, Los Angeles, because I dared to face my fears, go after my dreams and make them come true.”

Her company teaches her clients to do the same. “One of the pillars in my executive coaching program ‘6 Unique Steps to Sustainable Success, Health & Fulfillment’ is called DARING vs. SHARING,” explains Izady. “It is a step-by-step guide to radical acceptance and taking action instead of overthinking the past and over-planning the future,” she adds.

Izady believes the purpose of our existence is to live life to the fullest. And that means overcoming fears over and over. “Being fearless does not mean you are never afraid. I have my own demons, fears and insecurities like anybody else. I just deal with them differently. In every single fear, I see an opportunity for growth. I teach my clients to develop the urge and build the courage to overcome fears, as soon as they acknowledge them. Nothing feels as liberating as conquering our deepest fears – and finally DARE2LiVE!”

Fear Kills More Dreams Than Failure Ever Could

Kristen Bertolini, founder of Kristen Bertolini Designs, owns a specialized digital agency focussed on helping female entrepreneurs and business owners become an authority within their niche through unique design, creative branding and advanced development of high converting sales funnels. With this, Kristen creates the whole process from her clients’ online brand identity to their unique customer experience to turn “prospects into customers and customers into ambassadors”.

Kristen is a firm believer that fear is the human experience of keeping us in the status quo. Kristen talks of how challenging yourself and attaching a relentless mindset in which there is no ‘lose’ and no ‘failure’, only an opportunity to learn, optimise and innovate is paramount in building a fulfilling life and business.

A key strategy for success, she believes, is to let go of the ego. “Scrap the need for perfectionism which only leads to missed opportunities, procrastination, indecisiveness and inaction,” she tells her clients. She encourages women to embrace change, “if what you’re doing isn’t working, change what you’re doing”. She encourages women all over the world to go out and get what they want, but challenges them by saying “don’t expect it to happen simply by doing the same thing”.

Kristen believes if you’re not failing, you’re not trying. “We are only human and you‘re never going to eliminate the fear completely but you can manage the fear of failure by learning to fail better,” she tells us.

Kristen talks about her four next level strategies of managing fear more effectively: Daily Affirmations – writing down three things that you are grateful for. This creates traction and connects meaning for what you are striving for; Your Network is Your Net Worth – surround yourself with like-minded allies that can help you navigate the world of uncertainty and ambiguity; Morning Goal Setting – everyday write down your goals. This connects your daily tasks to the bigger picture; and lastly – Attachment to Personal Motives – everyday reestablishing the reasons why you are doing what you are doing. Attaching a strong enough ‘why’ can almost eradicate the fear of failure completely.

“Building an epic business requires a lot of hard work, but it can be one of the most rewarding experiences. Don’t let failure get in the way,” she says.

Find The Mentor That Is Right For You

For all the women above, achieving their own success, despite setbacks and failures, issues with addiction, abuse and self-doubts, has given them a voice that is heard across the globe as more women strive to find their own way, their own voice and their own version of success. Finding a mentor who speaks to you is the way forward for many and conquering the fear that holds us back is a step by step program laid out by the women who have chosen to lead.

“When we get into a place of real acceptance that the Universe is conspiring to bring us toward right-minded thinking and the energy of love,” says Gabby Bernstein, “it should feel like a huge relief, because it allows us to be in the curiosity and happy anticipation of what is coming – and relinquish control. It’s a true energy of trusting and knowing that you are being guided, that there is a beautiful plan unfolding for you and you’re participating in it,” she shares.  

Finding the mentor that is right for you depends on what you want in life. But whichever way you choose to find the path, there is a successful woman out there who has done it before you. Find them and follow them and create your own path to the life you dream of living.