How One Filmmaker Inspires Us To Live Our Best Lives

Sky Bergman, director of the documentary, Lives Well Lived, first filmed her grandmother, who just shy of 100 years old, working out in the gym. “My grandmother was such an inspiration to me of how to age well. And as I was in my forties approaching that big half-century mark, I was thinking, ‘what do I want to the rest of my life to look like? And to be honest there weren’t really good role models out there about how to age well.”

Determined to find positive role models of men and women over 75, Bergman didn’t have to look far to find them.

“I sent an email blast out to all my friends, family, and all the alum that I’ve taught over the years that I’ve been teaching at Cal Poly. And I said ‘Here’s a little 1-minute clip of my grandmother at the gym. And if you have somebody in your life like her, please nominate them for this project.’ I didn’t know it was going to be a film at that point. I just thought it was going to be a project. And I was just inundated by heartwarming nominations. It was really wonderful. And that started everything.”

Lives Well Lived, Bergman’s directorial debut, is now airing on PBS. The award-winning film celebrates the diverse stories of 40 amazing men and women who by their example, show us how to live our best lives.

The film is inspiring. But there’s an inspiring story behind the scenes that can’t be overlooked, the story of how Bergman created this project. Bergman, now 56, shared with me her ten-year journey to make this film, how despite her lack of experience (although she is an accomplished photographer), and her lack of funding, nothing held her back from moving forward with the project and seeking creative solutions for any obstacles she faced. She was resolute and passionate about bringing these stories to light.

In awe of Sky’s accomplishment, I recently interviewed her to find out more about how she made this film.

Bonnie Marcus: You didn’t have a film background, but you didn’t let that stop you at all.

Sky Bergman: I have never let not having done something before, not having enough money, ever stop me from doing something that I was passionate about. I always believe that if you have a passion for something, and I have a lot of tenacity and resilience, that you can make it happen. I have always been of the mindset that instead of saying ‘Why?’, say ‘Why not?’ And the worst thing that could happen is I would fall flat and nothing would happen. And the best that would happen is ‘It’s on PBS’.

Being on PBS wasn’t an aspiration. It was just to create a film, and then just take it one step after the next. And really, it’s just a matter of the smaller steps leading to something really big in the end.

Marcus: What challenges did you face?

Bergman: As you mentioned, I had never done a film before. I didn’t know exactly where to start in terms of putting a film like this together. I had to learn a lot of things. I had to learn how to edit, how to buy historic film rights and music rights and all the kinds of things that go along with making a film. And then once I did have the film together, there was a lot of maneuvering to find out how to distribute a film. It’s lovely to put something together like this, but then how do you get it out there in the world so you have a wide audience that actually has the chance to see it? That was a whole other learning experience.

Marcus: How did you finance the project?

Bergman: I had to get a little creative. One of the things I did was rent out rooms in my house through Airbnb. That was how I raised the funds to actually create the film. Because again, I didn’t want the money to be an obstacle. I’ve never let that stand in the way. I think sometimes you just have to think outside the box in terms of how you can make things happen.

Marcus: Was there ever a point where you doubted that this was going to come to fruition?

Bergman: I think we all have those doubts. I would get up at 4 in the morning and start editing before I would start teaching at Cal Poly. And some mornings I would think, ‘Why am I doing this?’ But my love of my grandmother and then all the people that I interviewed (I have to say I have 40 new grandparents as a result of doing this film), kept me focused and kept me going. I was doing it for them really. And I would say to anyone who wants to do a project like this, like me, I will always work on films or projects that have something optimistic about them. Because I eat, live, and breathe whatever I’m working on. And their stories of resilience resonated with me and kept me going through the pandemic. I think I was lucky to work on a project like this. And that was really what kept me going.

Marcus: Do you notice any attributes that these people have in common?

Bergman: There were 3 things that they all had in common. First of all, they all had a sense of purpose. Whether it was Lucky Louie, Dr. Louis Tedone, a retired pediatrician, getting up early each morning to make mozzarella for his daughter’s deli, or Rose Albano Ballestero, who still teaches English as a second language. Everyone in the film had something they were doing, learning something new and giving back. That sense of purpose helps them feel relevant.

Second, they all had a good sense of community. It didn’t necessarily need to be family, it could be friends. Whether through Zoom or outdoor meetings, they stayed connected.

And thirdly, there is a sense of resilience. They were all people who saw life as the glass half full. And I know that’s a cliché, but when I heard the stories of some of the things these people went through and yet still remain so positive, it’s really remarkable. That sense of being able to look back on their life and yet still remain positive and look forward, is really important.

Marcus: Our society challenges the relevance of older people. When you reach a certain age, you’re no longer considered relevant. These people, however, seem to own the power of their age.

Bergman: I would agree with you 100%. I think it’s a challenge to stay relevant as we age but all the people I interviewed are figuring out how to make that happen. But it’s not like you achieve something and then stop. You continue to strive to stay relevant. It’s just part of that cycle of moving through life and continuing to evolve.

Marcus: Are you surprised at the reaction the film is getting?

Bergman: You know, I was talking to my mom the other day and she said, ‘Can you believe the film’s on PBS?’ And I just said, ‘You know mom, it’s been amazing every step of the way from the first film festival that I got into, to the first theatrical release we had. And every step of the way has been an incredible journey’.

There are many lessons we can learn from the 40 men and women that Bergman interviews in her film. All over 75, they have a positive outlook and an amazing zest for life. And what is so inspiring is they are all still contributing to society in some way. They are the best examples of how to live your best life. We can also learn an important lesson from the creator, Sky Bergman, that having a passion and purpose and the resilience and tenacity to see something through from start to finish, regardless of the obstacles, is also a formula for a life well lived.

Bonnie Marcus, M.ED, is the author of Not Done Yet! How Women Over 50 Regain Their Confidence and Claim Workplace Power and The Politics of Promotion: How High Achieving Women Get Ahead and Stay Ahead. An executive coach and speaker, Bonnie is also host of the podcast, Badass Women At Any Age.