When I was in lack, in scarcity, in tight-chested fear, and felt that every move I make was under the life-destroying grip of something which threatened to destroy me and my dreams with it, the way that I sold and created could, by definition, only come from a shallow sort of a place.
I made money this way, quite an impressive sort of amount of it actually, if you would have added it up over time, but GOD what a cost it came at. It was energetically AND physically exhausting, holding on like that. It wouldn’t be unreasonable to hypothesise that a great deal of my pelvic and low back issues came from how God damn tight I was holding on to EVERYTHING. I think I’m still paying the price from those days, in that area!
In that stage of my journey, I may have done my best to dig in, tune in, connect with the WORK, and let it come to life, but it was all run through a filter of ‘OMFG what if I DIE though?!’. Which is to say, the filter that everything is loosely being run through when you have not yet learned how to relax into true space, openness, trust, leaning back, and ALLOWING yourself to be held.
I say ‘when you have not yet learned’ rather than something more like ‘when you are able’, because let’s not kid ourselves that trust, and letting go, is anything other than a game of choice.
Maybe one of the toughest games out there! Because how TERRIFYING is it to release your death grip on life when, well – your sub-conscious mind thinks you’re going to die if you do? Why would you do such a thing?! You’d have to be a next level IDIOT! Or –
you’d have to be a person who trusts in the bigger picture of what she is creating, and who, at her core, understands how life WORKS, and where her ultimate ‘success’, but more profoundly – her ultimate expression of self and her ability to be in full BEINGNESS is going to come from.
And I think you know. Don’t you? When you look to the future of what you’re here for and what you know you WILL say yes to, and finally FINALLY allow through, I think you KNOW,
just as I did –
IT AIN’T GONNA BE FROM CONTINUING TO SQUEEZE THE LIFE-FORCE OUT OF YOURSELF AS YOU ALLOW TEENY TINY BITS OF YOUR SOUL WORK TO EEK THEIR WAY OUT IN A SURFACE LEVEL MANNER!
The you who has an ABUNDANCE, unlimited, infinite, immeasurable, just as God says it gets to be for you, of ALL things expansive and ‘being taken care of’, in the financial wealth sense but also in the surrendered to the expectation of an incredible LIFE sense, she KNOWS things that this … still bound by fear and ‘what if’ you can only dare to dream of. And really doesn’t even quite do that!
She knows that trust is a CHOICE.
She knows that surrender, letting go, allowing herself to fall fall fall and be caught is a CHOICE.
She knows that making moves with the slow and calm and DEEPLY grounded, or at times go go go and FLOW yes speed, of being in absolute connectedness to who and what she is in THIS moment,
is available
IN THIS MOMENT
now.
She knows that when she tells fear to shove it, and that it no longer gets to take the drivers seat, when she gives her TRUTH and her CERTAINTY more power than what she has thus far given ‘but what if I DIE’,
that she will connect in to something that transcends time and space and so-called physical reality, and she will allow herself finally to be USED, by God and by life itself, for what she is here for.
Giving your life for what it was given to you for is perhaps the greatest experience of soul expression and satisfaction that is available to you.
But it just doesn’t and can’t HAPPEN from a place of simultaneously running broken-record fear refrains in your mind about WHAT IF I DIE.
You HAVE to find a way to go past that, in order to flow into the ‘other’, the place where yes your income of COURSE goes up, but more so – where your dropping into YOU gets to take place. The income thing is … whatever. There are people at all levels of money-makin’ who still operate from fear.
And for you and I … and those like us … it was never about that anyway. Not REALLY, and not at its core. It was about –
I have to do what I’m here to do. I HAVE to. I can’t NOT. I MUST.
So, how to transcend the FEAR, the BS, the way you dance on the surface and never go all the way in, because it would be too terrifying to let go that way and do so?
Why, isn’t it obvious?
Realise how MOFO TERRIFYING IT WOULD BE TO NOT LET GO THAT WAY AND DO SO.
And leap freaking accordingly.
You already ARE ‘that version of you’. You just choose or don’t choose whether to be it. Quit telling yourself it’s anything more complex than this,
Don’t forget –
Life is Now. Press Play.
Kat x
P.S.
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