Today’s episode is about that little voice in your head. You probably already know the one I’m talking about. It’s the one that second guesses your actions, that says you’re not good enough, that says, “Why do you think that people care about what you have to say?” “Why would anyone want to buy your program?” and even, “Who do you think you are?”
That voice is your inner critic.
If you have one — and don’t we all? — you’re not alone. I recently had a run-in with mine. I launched a program…and it felt like a flop because it didn’t reach my expectations. Now, it wasn’t completely unsuccessful because I did have some wonderful people join our community. But the result was nowhere near what I was hoping for.
And my inner critic started laying it on thick. For a couple of days, I was pulling out all my NLP tools to help me break out of those feelings of disappointment and rejection.
What’s interesting is that — as is so often the case — other people in my space were hearing from their inner critics too.
What is the inner critic anyway?
NLP teaches us that we sometimes have unintegrated parts. These are parts of your unconscious mind that don’t realize they’re parts of the larger whole of your consciousness. These parts have their own values, their own sets of beliefs, and their own personalities. And when they get triggered, it feels like something awful’s got a hold of you and you can’t get away for its grip.
I believe inner critics are just that — a part.
From my own experiences and my clients’ experiences, I’ve learned that it’s helpful to view the inner critic like a child. It’s like a child who’s grown up in a sheltered environment and is sorely lacking in information and experience.
Your job is to educate your inner critic, to educate this “child” who doesn’t know any better.
I prefer to educate with the “feedback sandwich” method. It looks like this: a hug, followed by a punch, and finished with a hug.
- Acknowledge the inner critic’s good intention. Inner critics show up to keep us in line (according to their perceptions) and are only trying to protect you. Thank them for that good intention.
- Then explain that you’ve learned some things your inner critic doesn’t know yet. For instance, you’re deserving of all good things and you have the resources you need to achieve your goals.
- Invite the part, the inner critic, to learn these new truths and to come play with the whole of you in this bigger playground, bringing with it that positive intention while expanding its knowledge base.
When you can become aware of when the inner critic rears its head and begin to re-educate it, beautiful things can happen.
