This Pediatrician Offers Moms A Prescription For How To Avoid Working During Vacation

Working moms just might be the busiest people on the planet. The daily, non-stop mix of project meetings, deadlines and email overload combined with hectic mornings, family appointments and carpool drop off can leave them among the most in need of regular vacations. Ironically though, some studies suggest that women may actually be less likely to use their vacation and/or more likely to stay connected to the office when they are on vacation. Too often they feel tethered to the office and end up responding to emails, participating on calls or even responding to executive requests during precious family vacation time, and an amazing family get-away can crash and burn because mom is on a conference call instead of in the pool. Not only do these missed moments rob moms of the much-needed time away to fully recharge and rejuvenate, it can also cause real friction within the family.

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As many working moms head out for vacation for the first time since the onset of the pandemic, the need to truly rest and relax is at a premium. After more than a year of forced work from home and/or home schooling, many are battling burn out and overdue for a truly restful break from the office, but that can be easier said than done. Busy mom, pediatrician and author of The Working Mom Blueprint: Winning at Parenting Without Losing Yourself, Whitney Casares, M.D., M.P.H., F.A.A.P. offers sage advice for those busy working moms struggling to take a real break from the office.

1.     Recognize Vacation as an Investment

 It’s easy to think of vacation as a guilty pleasure – time away that’s hurting our colleagues or clients, but the truth is that just like we’ve got to charge our phone regularly, we must find time to recharge ourselves periodically as well. Yes, we know this….yada, yada, yada, but it just seems so much more efficient and productive to fire off five more emails, right? Just consider that if you’re going through your workday at 30% “battery life” because you’re burned out, the quality of your output is likely suffering so the best gift you could give your boss, colleagues and clients might just be recharging yourself. “We often forget that taking time to rest, relax, and recuperate on vacations is incredibly productive,” explains Casares. “When we make space for attuning to ourselves and our loved ones for discrete periods, we return with more creativity, energy, and purpose. We’re more effective and more efficient. We’re better at our jobs, and we’re better humans.”  

2.     Practice Taking Space for Yourself Even When You’re Not Away

“We find it difficult, in part, to turn off when we vacation because it’s so different from our standard modus operandi,” explains Casares.  “When we practice taking time for ourselves and slowing down consistently during our average work weeks, though, we don’t face nearly as much burnout and stress and have an easier time enjoying opportunities for prolonged breaks —and the stillness that often accompanies them—when they do come around.” While rest, downtime and relaxation can absolutely boost creativity and overall productivity, those respites shouldn’t be reserved just for spring break or the annual summer beach trip. Ideally, find ways to incorporate a sense of powering down regularly as a part of the normal rhythm of your day or your week. If that seems like a pipedream, start out by just committing to 10 minutes of daily mindfulness. 

3.     Vacation Out Loud

While it may be tempting to downplay or even keep mum about vacation plans, Casares recommends just the opposite. “The more you clearly communicate the way you’ll be spending your time, the more likely others will be to respect it, and the less obligated you’ll be to cross back over into work mode,” insists Casares. “Plus, the more we all “vacation out loud,” reminding our companies that rest and relaxation is a necessary part of life, the more we normalize it for ourselves and our colleagues.” Indeed, as others begin to “vacation out loud” as well, the culture of the entire organization can evolve from one where vacations are somewhat shunned to one where they’re celebrated and recognized as an investment in the long-term health of the team. Vacationing out loud also provides practical benefits. Too often things spiral into a crisis when a key team member is out of the office because others haven’t sufficiently planned for their absence. Highlighting the absence well in advance can help minimize that risk.

4.     Ease into Vacay Mode

 “If you’re used to a fast-paced lifestyle, plopping yourself in a beach chair can feel, at the least, uncomfortable, and at the worst, anxiety-provoking,” insists Casares. “Our American obsession with productivity can make it almost impossible to break the cycle of busyness even when we want to.” Understanding this, Casares recommends easing into vacation mode by starting with structured activities towards the beginning of the vacation then easing into completely unstructured, relaxing days. That gradual shift can allow us the time to mentally shift into vacation mode.

5.     If You Do Decide to Work, Set a Timer 

 The truth is that not everyone can disconnect completely—senior executives, business owners and those with unique roles or supporting critical projects may be particularly stressed about what might fall through the cracks in their absence. If you absolutely have to work during vacation Casares recommends time-boxing work time. “If you need to work on vacation, set aside an isolated time each day to answer emails and attend to your company’s needs,” she recommends. “When you’re done for the day, turn off your email and phone notifications. That way, the rest of your calendar can be filled with more important things—like splashing in the pool with your kids.”

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While it may be tempting to think of ourselves as indispensable, the truth is that with sufficient planning, virtually anyone can get away for some well-deserved down time. Vacation is not just a time to recharge our own batteries but also a time to reconnect with family and friends so don’t miss those opportunities just because a new email pops up in our inbox. The truth is that those emails will keep coming so instead of stalking your inbox, send your in-charge a muffin basket before you leave, leave an out of office message that indicates you won’t be available and place devices out of sight as much as possible so you can actually….vacation.