Kerry Siggins, CEO of StoneAge
Carol Cardwell
High-achievers tend to have a dirty little secret. While they look put together from the outside, they are often struggling within.
This was true for Kerry Siggins, CEO of StoneAge, Inc., which designs and manufactures equipment used in the industrial cleaning industry. While you would never know it from her title and accolades, Siggins has endured great hardship. Before joining StoneAge, she lived a life filled with substance abuse, body image issues, and constant negative self-talk. However, Siggins didn’t cave to her addiction and difficulties. Instead, she was able to rise above, eventually joining the company’s Board of Directors at age 29 and later becoming CEO.
I sat down with Siggins to learn about her journey. In this interview she shares her story and discusses how resilience and mental strength have shaped her as a leader.
Melody Wilding: You hit a rock bottom early in your life and career. Can you tell us that story? What did you learn from it that shaped you into the leader you are today?
Kerry Siggins: Long ago, before gaining a deeper understanding of myself and my flaws, my desire to be recognized almost killed me. A drug overdose, fueled by a need to be seen – to be admired – for doing more cocaine than most men, was close to fatal. Almost dying is enough to clean themselves up for many, but it all came down to work for me. You see, I self-identify with my work. No matter how hard I partied or how awful I felt, I ALWAYS went to work. I was a professional, wanting so much to be successful, to be seen as successful.
But as I recovered from my near overdose, alone in my apartment in Austin, TX, I was far from this aspirational vision.
I was so weak that I couldn’t go to work. I called in sick three days in a row. THIS. IS. NOT. OKAY. My rule: play hard, work hard. I CAN NOT MISS WORK. I am a professional. Clearly, I am a professional. Even though I haven’t showered in days, I vomit in my hair and drop pizza on my pillowcase. I couldn’t pull myself together. Instead, I binge-watch Law & Order, eating the last of a stale pizza.
Not being about to go to work was the final straw. I had to turn my life around. I knew that I was worth more than expensive drugs, fake friends, and a dead-end job.
I followed my heart and fled city life, going home to my mother in rural Colorado to start over. When I got there, I had no idea what I was going to do. How do you even get a job in a small mountain town? Apparently, from a newspaper. When StoneAge advertised for a GM, I applied. Even though I was under-qualified for the role, I was hopeful that applying would be a chance to get my foot in the door. I thought, “this is the opportunity I need to start over. Even though I am scared that I can’t get this job and that I won’t get this job, I will try. I am responsible for the outcome of my life. I need to make this happen.”
The two founders saw something in me – potential, drive, intensity, smarts, and a positive attitude. They, too, wanted something different, so they decided to hire me. Two months from the day I left Austin, I was learning how to run a company.
I understand that this is a crazy story. It’s been almost 15 years, and it still blows me away.
What did this experience teach me? There are too many to write in this paragraph. The most profound thing I learned is that there is a dark side to every one of us. We are all fallible in our own ways. But fallible people are lovable, good, and successful. Good people do bad things. Bad people have redeeming qualities. As leaders, it’s up to us to embrace our flaws and coax the light out of the dark. It’s our responsibility to talk about our shortcomings. To connect with others through the messiness of life to lead with humility, authenticity, and acceptance. To model that it’s okay not only to be flawed but also to shine a light on our flaws.
Melody Wilding: How did you restart your life and your career after that rock bottom?
Kerry Siggins: I knew I wanted to change when I left Austin, but I didn’t know what to change. Or how to change. I didn’t understand why I was making such poor decisions. I came from a single-parent home but a healthy one. I went to an outstanding college, and I had a support system surrounded by people who loved me. I was a well-rounded person. Why did I have such a severe drug problem? I was inquisitive and experimented with energy work, hypnotherapy, meditation, talk therapy, and coaching. And lots of self-help books. I began to understand what made me tick, and it launched me on this leadership journey.
I also had the challenge of trying to figure out how to run a company. I had no idea what I was doing as I started my job at StoneAge, so I did the only thing I could think of: ask questions. I had knowledgeable, experienced people on my team who had been with the company for some time. I figured they knew what was going well and what departments needed fixes. I repeatedly asked, “why are we doing this, and do you have ideas on how to make it better?” The team developed clear, actionable responses, which we implemented together.
I learned so much from this experience. Rather than come in and try to prove that I was worthy of the job by demanding change and doing it “my way,” I coached my team on making the changes with me. I saw myself as a piece of the puzzle, and asking questions allowed me to find my fit within the culture rather than forcing the culture to change around me. I also gained powerful insight -insight that helped me understand myself and my team better. I developed stronger relationships ins a short amount of time, and I built trust quickly. I believe I made better decisions but keeping an open mind and not being afraid to say, “I’m not sure what to do. What do you think?”
Melody Wilding: You joined StoneAge as a general manager. Within 3 years you were promoted to CEO. What were some actions that helped you make that leap and ascent into the C-Suite? What do you wish other women knew?
Kerry Siggins: My most impactful actions were listening well, solving problems, building trust, and creating a plan that everyone could understand and execute. Being a young and relatively inexperienced CEO, I had to build credibility quickly. It’s amazing what you can do when you listen carefully to what people tell you and then help them solve problems. It consistently helped me build trust, which led to deeper, more meaningful connections with my team.
Another critical aspect of executive leadership is creating and articulating a simple plan – your strategy – that everyone understands and feels connected to. People are more likely to find purpose in their work when they know how they fit into the big picture and see that the work they do every day adds value. Working closely with my management team and key employees, we created a plan that did these things and more. We grew the company by double digits year over year, and because we are an employee-owned company, everyone shared in the success.
Looking back over the past decade, I’ve learned a lot about resiliency, self-confidence, and humility. If I could give any advice to women looking to make it to the C-Suite, I would say building these three attributes is key. When you get knocked down, you must get up. And getting knocked down will often happen because being a CEO is hard. You will make mistakes, and that’s okay. Learn from them and get back in the game.
Self-confidence is imperative as well. Being a CEO is filled with many unknowns, and sometimes you won’t know the right decision to make. You must trust and believe in yourself. And finally, to be successful in the C-Suite, you must balance your resiliency and self-confidence with humility. Never be afraid to apologize or admit your mistakes. Give credit to others and put your team first. To be a successful leader, you must be worth following; self-confident yet humble leaders inspire trust and action.
Melody Wilding: You’ve talked about building your confidence as a CEO. What tips can you share for readers around overcoming their own fear and self doubt about their capabilities?
Kerry Siggins: What’s the worst that can happen? What’s the best thing that could happen? These are the first two questions I ask myself when I feel self-doubt. Why? Because they help put things in perspective and give opposing outcomes at the opposite ends of the spectrum. For me, the benefit of the best outcome far outweighs the risk of the worst outcome.
I also consider the past. The past can be a powerful teacher if we pause to analyze the outcomes of various situations and decisions. Whenever I have self-doubts, I look to the past and consider how things turned out, what decisions I made, what I would do differently, and what I wouldn’t change. Building upon past successes and overcoming failure gives me the courage to push my self-doubt aside and move forward.
I act, even if it’s small. I am a firm believer that taking action is the fastest way to overcome your fears. When self-doubt rears its ugly head, I go for a walk and ponder why I feel stuck and insecure. I think about what I could do about getting unstuck. Almost always, a few ideas pop up organically. Then I choose one of these ideas and act on it. Just one small step forward.
Melody Wilding: What has being a leader through the pandemic taught you about mental toughness?
Kerry Siggins: Mental toughness, combined with self-compassion, is what got me through the pandemic. Like so many other leaders, I rode an emotional roller coaster of uncertainty, hopefulness, fear, excitement, accomplishment, and burnout. But I came out of the first year stronger because I let myself experience my emotions to move through them with grit and grace. I also believe that the only way to get good at doing hard things is to do hard things.
Even though there were moments when I didn’t think I was strong enough to lead my company through the downturn brought about by the pandemic, I pushed through, making tough decisions, being radically transparent, and course-correcting along the way. When I paused to reflect, I could see positive results, which motivated me to keep going.
To sum it up, I learned that mental toughness develops over time, and the more I pushed outside my comfort zone, the more I expanded my competency zone and gained more self-confidence.
