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Why ‘Free Mom Hugs’ Founder Sara Cunningham Spreads Love To The LGBTQ Community


In 2018, Sara Cunningham was catapulted into the public eye when she spontaneously posted a message to her social media accounts:

“PSA. If you need a mom to attend your same sex wedding because your biological mom won’t,” she wrote, “Call me. I’m there. I’ll be your biggest fan. I’ll even bring the bubbles.”

She had no idea that her post would go viral, that it would not only lead to her actually standing in at people’s weddings, but that moms around the world would follow her lead and offer to stand in as well.

“I was astounded at the reaction I got,” Cunningham said. “That post was made out of frustration. Through my advocacy, I started officiating same sex weddings…and through that I started hearing stories about how families were not acknowledging the relationship, refusing to come to the wedding, and seeing the disappointment, the heartbreak from the couples…I made that social media post.”

Before all of this attention, though, Cunningham had already been acting as a fierce LGBTQ advocate for many years—and it all started with a hug.

In 2015, Cunningham decided to attend a pride festival wearing a homemade button that read, “Free Mom Hugs.” She stood on the street with open arms and offered hugs to anyone who needed one. Her first hug was with a young woman who told her it had been four years since she had been hugged by her mother. This devastated Cunningham, who vowed from then on to loudly and proudly celebrate the LGBTQ community.

And so, she launched Free Mom Hugs, an organization that has continued the practice of offering hugs at pride events (though this is on pause during COVID-19). Free Mom Hugs also hosts its own events for the LGBTQ community, like an annual Transgender Valentine’s Banquet, which this year went virtual for the first time.

The organization also works to educate parents and families who are struggling to accept their LGBTQ loved ones, typically for religious reasons.

“We have scholars and theologians, history and science to really point to how scripture has been misinterpreted, misunderstood, and misused,” Cunningham said.

A person of faith, herself, Cunningham believes she is the perfect resource for struggling parents. In fact, when her own son, Parker, came out as gay, she said she did not take the news well. She strives every day to prevent other parents from taking as long as she did to learn to accept her son.

“I missed an entire adolescence of Parker’s life because of my fear and ignorance,” she said.

Cunningham worked hard to reconcile her faith with her son’s sexuality, and through that work, discovered the beauty of the LGBTQ community.

“In 2014, my husband and I stood with Parker at the Oklahoma City Pride festival, and it was my first interaction with the community, and I just fell in love,” she said. “These are beautiful, spiritual people, and I had been alienated by the concept that homosexuality was wrong…When I saw other people celebrating my son for who he is authentically, it spoke to me, it moved me, it touched me.”

She is grateful, she added, for the grace Parker allowed her when she realized she was wrong. She emphasized, though, that it doesn’t always end so well, which is why she works to stop other parents from missing out on their children’s lives.

Cunningham said Free Mom Hugs has grown exponentially due to her viral post. Now, it has chapters in all 50 states, three paid staff, as well as a national board. There is even a Lifetime movie in the works based on Cunningham’s memoir, How We Sleep At Night, in which Cunningham will be played by Jamie Lee Curtis.

“It’s wonderful,” Cunningham said of the organization’s popularity. “It’s confirmation, it’s validation, but more importantly, I see healing, I see parents having authentic relationships with their children. I’m simply doing things I wish someone would have done for me when I was trying to figure this out. If I would have had someone like me go to my place of worship and share their story, it would have changed everything.”



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