The Mindfulness Of Sports & Running

During the pandemic, Michelle Edgar — a music executive who had never been an athlete, and never been a runner, put on jogging shoes and began, in her own words, running for her life. What brought her to the track is an extraordinary story. And the journey culminates tomorrow — below is her surprising and inspiring story.

Michelle, I know you are a music executive, and you run an organization called the XX Project that supports women in media and business, but I never thought of you as a star athlete. How did all this come about? 

I was never an athlete, but I always had an inside power — I think it stems from my training as a concert pianist and the discipline and resilience that requires. [During the pandemic] I realized that I was seeking something more, I was searching for some new journey.

I was going through some of life’s biggest hurdles. I was overcoming death after losing a parent. And I was transitioning out of a marriage. I was depleted.

I was looking for a healthier life and searching for my inner strength. And that’s when I started running, I just picked up my sneakers, and I knew I had to lift myself up. I had lost that light, the spark inside me, but I was strong enough where I trusted myself and I said if I honor myself and just take that one hour commute in the morning that I used to do [before COVID-19], and the one hour home in the evening as if I were still driving — and created this new routine, then I would get stronger every day.

I was running to find that life force within me.  That’s when my love for sport happened. And then I [discovered] the UCLA track, and on that track I found my coach Richard Rucker. The first time he stopped me on the track, he asked what I was training for. I didn’t have an answer and responded that I didn’t know. He said, “Wrong answer — for life,” and then he asked if I wanted to start training. We’ve trained together every day since.  

That really was the catalyst. I have fabulous parents — my mother I’ve learned my people skills from and my father, his business acumen and helping me with operationally running businesses. And then my step-father was a tremendous inspiration as well in terms of [being] a man of his word.

His last words to me were, “Will you move on with your life?” And I had to sit with those words. I didn’t really know what they meant until I got back [home] to L.A. That’s when I took a real look at my life and what was working and what wasn’t working, professionally and personally. I had to take a real look in the mirror and face what I was feeling, and that’s not easy. And that’s what was the catalyst for my change.

You were saying you were taking a look at a marriage and that this is part of being mindful — of what works for me and what doesn’t?  

Yes, that was part of the process. Deciding what you want out of life. What makes you happy. I think that the pandemic really made us take a deep assessment, because we were all shut down, and it was a blessing because we could [take time to think about how we could]  live a better life. And I could take that one hour when I probably would be driving to work and spend it on me and setting those boundaries to get clear and [strong about making better] decisions in my life.

So you looked at all of these things and thought — here is mindfully what I want or what I want to change? How did this manifest to being on a track?

When there are opportunities that present themselves, I always explore them. I’m a risk taker. And brave. And I’m always a learner, so I’m always hungry to learn more skills. I found the track because I thought to myself — what would it feel like to be on this track? I wanted to see other like-minded people. There is community there because — I saw other like-minded people training as hard as I was and getting up … I was there at 6am every day, and I found [a] kind of rhythm and peace and nourishment from that track which sparked something in me. That spark is that I was running for my life. And my coach was there, and he’s been a tremendous influence and inspiration in my journey, really tapping into my ability and strength as an athlete and learning how to train.

So you looked at all of these things and thought — here is mindfully what I want or what I want to change. How did all of this manifest to being on a track?

When there are opportunities that present themselves. I always explore it and do my research. I’m a risk taker. And brave. And I’m always a learner, so I’m always hungry, learning more skills in life. I found the track because I thought to myself, what would it feel like to be on this track? I wanted to see other like-minded people. There is community there because .. I saw other like-minded people training as hard as I was and getting up .. I was there at 6am every day, and I thought to myself, look, if I run on this track, what would it feel like, and I got so excited, and I found some kind of rhythm and peace and nourishment from that track which sparked something in me and that spark is that I was running for my life. And my coach was there, and he’s been a tremendous influence and inspiration in my journey, really tapping into my ability and strength as an athlete and learning how to train.

I want to talk specifically about how you ended up literally on the track. A lot of people, if they were looking at their life, might do yoga every day or maybe they would take up meditation or flower arranging or do a deep dive on surreal art or another interest. How did you decide — I’m going to start running? Where did that come from?

I saw a dear friend, Bozoma St. John, go on [a] transformative journey with her amazing trainer Jerry Housey, so I saw firsthand from her how they worked together and what it did for her. I started [with a personal trainer] during the pandemic, and I said I’m not going to stop here. So I literally ran around Westwood where I lived at the time, like Forrest Gump. I was averaging six to eight miles each morning. And from there, I remember was it was Memorial Day weekend. I needed something more. I was at an all-time low. And I went on that track and I said, I want to know what it feels like to run on this track. And that’s when I fell in love with the track. And then with the coaching of Richard Rucker, [I] was able to really push myself as an athlete. I’m 39 years old, but he says, ““It’s not the age, it’s the stage.”

So you were never an athlete before — in high school or college?

No. But I took my focus and discipline from training as a concert pianist five hours a day and applied it to my love for sports. 

I do want to ask you — I feel like during COVID-19 a lot of people went the other direction and started going down the path of bad habits. What do you think it was in you that decided to turn the exact opposite? You had the toughest things that can happen to a human happen — what was it in you that kept you from going towards light rather than down a dark path?

I knew there was a better life for me. And I wanted to feel at peace. I wanted to be clear with my decision making. I knew that I had to take some time for myself to heal and grow and to learn from experience.

[There’s] blood, sweat, and tears involved in training. From the very beginning, I mean the first three months, I lost probably 30 pounds. I became very intentional about my eating and really all of my habits — my sleeping and more, and all of the sudden my body [began] working in a whole new way. And the training gave me the strength and clarity and to be better at business. And then on top of everything else I also started law school, so I had to study for [classes] each evening! This all gave me a routine which felt really good. It was difficult. It was heavy. I had to make a lot of sacrifices. But I knew there was a greater calling. There was something out there for me. And I was following my purpose.

What’s next in terms of sports? You’re about to start competing? Tell me about that.

On Saturday, this is going to be my eighth race in a year. I’m competing in the USATF Masters Outdoor Championships, in the 100 meters. It actually marks one year, next week, since I started racing competitively. And I’m really grateful for the opportunity to compete [this weekend].

Every race has a different story and a different meaning in your journey. Back in February, I got “All American” in the 60 meters, and it was a special race because that marked one year since my step-father’s passing. I’ve also been able to compete at the Olympic Training Center. This [was] literally grace.

On Saturday I will be running with the best in class athletes in my age bracket in this country. That is a real privilege and honor, to run with other amazing athletes that I’ve looked up to and who have been doing this their entire lives. For me to be one year in and to have set this goal and to come right out of this pandemic period — I’m excited to be in a community with other like-minded people who have also been putting in the work of trying to be their best.

What would you say to people going through a transition like you did who feel like they are going down a negative path instead of doing something positive?

It’s about starting. And you have to set that priority and commitment. This was all commitment and self-love to myself. In my [business of music], we have shows five nights at week, and I had to set boundaries. And even during my commuting time [when I was working at an office, I decided that] this was “me” time.

You have to commit to yourself. And just start. See what works for you. Some people like running. Some people like yoga. Explore. Don’t be afraid of not being good at something.

When I started, my coach said I ran like Forrest Gump. But I just loved it. I didn’t care how I looked — I just knew it made me feel alive. Start with one act, and then it becomes contagious. And you get hooked to it.

Just start and do it and be brave and carve it out. And set the boundaries. And saying no will,  in the end, make you a better employee and business person too, because you’ve first committed to your self-love for yourself.